On May 18, 2013 at 5:03 pm, a Mr. Randy Fibbs wrote:
The question came in response to the post entitled, "CAUSING MUTINIES IN THE WORKPLACE" by the lovable and ever-unstable Mr. Humphrey Orlando. The intrigue by Mr. Fibbs is, no doubt, of concrete validity and frequent occasion. I can assure you that Humphrey Orlando's inbox is flooded with letters from MANAGERS, CEOs, and BOSSes all quizzically wondering the same thing: HOW TO START A MUTINY IF YOU ARE UPPER MANAGEMENT?
The answer to the question, by virtue of its covert nature, should be - and will be - brief and succinct. I'll answer in two parts.
Buy and Read QUELLING MUTINIES LEFT AND RIGHT by Humphrey Orlando.
It's an entertaining, insightful read packed with wonderful information....such as:
Chapter 1: How to Spot a Mutiny
Chapter 3: Classifying Your Mutiny
Chapter 6: Communicating With Mutinous Coworkers
Chapter 7: Ex-Communicating Mutinous Coworkers
Chapter 10: Has Your Mutiny Gotten Out of Hand?
Chapter 11: How to Appropriately Switch Sides
Chapter 12: Hidden Agendas & Masking Emotions
Chapter 14: How To Switch Back to Your Original Side
Chapter 15: Giving Up & Joining In
Chapter 17: The Final Switch - It's All But Over
Furthermore, you cannot begin to know how to start a mutiny if you don't know how to quell one. The answer must be sought from the inside - out.
The wrong information is the right information to spread.
Now, this is only relevant when dealing with mutinies...in all other honorable, fair & moral avenues of life, this tree has no roots. However, we are speaking of Mutinies - and they are tragic; they are cruel; they are insatiably satisfying; and they are knotted tirelessly with the worst qualities of HUMAN LIFE.
"Speak often to those you don't trust, and trust no one," Humphrey Orlando once said to me, before jumping off a ferry boat in the middle of winter.
That's all I have for right now. For more, please feel free to....nah.
I've decided that I'm going to write out the Complete Handbook of Cayenne Home Remedies...right here, right now.
PLEURISY. This condition involves the inflammation of the lining of the lungs. Cayenne is a stimulant and a vasodilator that may help this condition. DO not inhale cayenne powder, but rather take 2 capsules of cayenne powder (40,000 heat units or higher) with lunch and dinner.
You can also use a time-tested herbalist's favorite rub for speeding the relief of pleurisy. Be sure to wash your hands afterwards.
NEURALGIA. This is a pain of a severe throbbing or stabbing nature and can be found anywhere in the body. For relief, see the section "Pain".
HEAT EXHAUSTION. Not to be confused with heat stroke, which can be a fatal condition involving excess exposure to heat, with symptoms of headache, confusion, elevated skin temperature, and eventually COMA and DEATH. For heat stroke, get medical help immediately. For heat exhaustion, which is characterized by weakness and general dehydration, cayenne, water, and electrolytes can help.
For 9000 years natives in warm climates noticed that chilis make the "dog days" of summer a little bit more bearable. The reason: capsaicin causes peripheral vasodilation, or expansion of the blood vessels in the skin region. Eat a hot pepper like cayenne makes the world around you seem a whole lot COOLER.
FROSTBITE. See "warming effect" below.
GAS. Reduce it by eating cayenne.
PAIN. See "Neuralgia".
SORE THROAT. Mix 1-2 capsules of cayenne powder in 1 cup of warm water. Swish in your mouth and gargle, but DO NOT swallow. If this preparation is too hot to tolerate, then cut the cayenne in half and try again.
....the COMPLETE HANDBOOK is too fleeping long, so I just picked my favorites.
CAYENNE also cures HEADACHE, FATIGUE, DEPRESSION, FATTY LIVERS, HEART DISEASE, ANOREXIA, ASTHMA and a boatload of other things. THE MIRACLE PEPPER also soothes and heals BRUISES & SPRAINS and PREVENTS CANCER.
EAT CAYENNE PEPPERS.
Hydrogen Peroxide. If you don't keep your wounds clean you're doomed - no amount of neosporin can save you so long as your scars are crawling with bacteria. In fact, the neosporin will reverse any sort of healing progress as it locks in the bacteria, creating a dome of rotten perplexities. Your feet are most important. Everything starts with your feet. Keep them clean, cut your nails, take care of scrapes, cuts, and scratches; only applying neosporin after they've been thoroughly rinsed with Hydrogen Peroxide.
Now, think back to a time - any time, really - where you saw a man with mangled, horrifying looking feet. His nails were jagged, suffocating from all the dirt and grime built up from years of neglect. Was this man sitting on the ground...were his teeth in much the same shape as his feet? The answers to these questions are most likely YES. Now, think further, ponder a bit more: would you consider this person HEALTHY?
THE ANSWER, EPIPHANY & CONCLUSION: TAKE CARE OF YOUR DAMN FEET.
I've been surfing over tropical reefs for the past three months and my feet are cut and torn. My hands, as well. Only recently have I adopted Hydrogen Peroxide as my own - loving it and cherishing it as a MOTHER (tomorrow is their day) loves a child.
Just today, I rode a leftward moving breaker, a turtle diving, narrowly dodging the piercing cuts of my scags. The reef a blurred beauty below my feet, I turned and maneuvered into the wave's pocket - its honey hole, its sweet spot, its lap. A quick slash to stall my growing speed, a subtle tuck and a gentle grab, and I found myself under the lip of the curler. Fully engulfed by the ocean, I rode until, like a bullet from a gun, I shot. The circle shooting its misty load as I surfed on. I had just gotten barreled, and, as usual, no one saw. My dismount was spotty and, honestly, flamboyant to a fault...i hit the reef and cut my toe; not horribly, not even badly enough to notice it at the time. The in-n-out was all that was on my mind...it's all that's been on my mind since.
That, and foot care and peroxide and the nicely shaped bass that I reeled in the day prior ( I almost hooked two at once, but one of 'em slipped away).
Stay tuned for the next installments:
1. Vitamin C
2. Grapefruit Seed Extract
3. Attempt Two at Ginger Tea
4. Causing Mutinies in the Workplace