STRATEGICALLY CHUG WATER

This entry is about a friend.  The location is Southern California.  His name is unimportant.  Before I tell you about him, I'd like to say this: IT MATTERS WHEN YOU CHUG WATER. 


1. When you wake up. 
It gets your system started, wakes up your organs and flushes out the debris and calories you burned in the night.  Chug water in the morning. 


2. Before meals.  
Allows for a more responsible eating experience....don't be so gluttonous, have some water before your meal.  Also very good for your stomach - makes digestion easier. Chug water before you eat. 


3. Before and after you exercise. 
I'm not even going to explain this one.  Chug when you workout. 


4. Every time you come into contact with children.  
The 5 star hotels of disease and illness, you have two choices when it comes to CHILDREN: avoid them altogether or drink massive amounts of water before, during, and after you come into contact with them.  Water fuels the immune system...'nough said. Chug when children are around.  They're disgusting. 


There are more times to strategically chug water like after a hot shower or during a power outage or even in the rain, but on with the story about the friend.  


He neglected my advice, aggressively refusing to drink any water.  He had been drinking vodka and various beers all day long.  Words flowed effortlessly off his tongue, his demeanor was attractively careless, and he couldn't shake the dumb smile from his stupid face.  He met a girl, and she liked him - or she liked the monster he had turned into that night.  They left and went back to her place...a quaint, neatly decorated apartment on the second story of the building.  Things became intimate but they quickly turned sleepy as the man passed out in the middle of it all.  This would have been fine had he stayed asleep, but, in the middle of the night, he rolled off the bed, throwing up as he fell, covering the rug in whatever he had in his stomach. It wasn't over, though...he quickly fled to the balcony where he continued to eject his stomach onto the patio furniture below.  The girl, also wildly intoxicated, didn't stir during the commotion. The man, thinking clearly*, snuggled back into bed until the morning.  When confronted over the mess, he denied it all.  Using the bathroom as an excuse he ducked out and ran to the nearest gas station. That's where I found him.  Sleeping like a homeless man on the grassy knoll of a 76 station, shirt off, he was clearly in pain - crying it looked like.  The man's name is....nah, that would cruel.  


BUT, this all could have been avoided had he CHUGGED WATER.